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Through life, we often hear well-intentioned advice to; stay focused, complete one task at a time, plan ahead, stay on track, be methodical and that it is best to specialise in just one particular area. It's like a drumbeat echoing in our minds, a rhythm that promises success through order and structure. To my Virgo Moon and my orderly, list-making mind, it all makes perfect sense. Yet, as I dig deeper, I realise that this isn't how I best stay in flow and I have been forcing myself to be something I wasn’t and unjustly judging myself harshly along the way.

Growing up and well into my adult life it was challenging for me to ever question authority, I was a rule follower, I never swam against the mainstream, or allowed myself to follow my own instincts. The echoes of words spoken to me as a teenager still reverberate through my body. My mother's ‘throw away’ comments about how I looked and what I ‘should’ be doing about...

My dear, in the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.

In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.

In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.

I realised, through it all, that… In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.

And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger—something better, pushing right back. 

Albert Camus, Return to Tipasa

Forward Ever, Backwards Never

There’s a funny thing about moving away from your home of 20 years, renting out your house, and getting stuck in the middle of a statewide COVID shitstorm…. You can’t go back. 

Can’t go back to safety.

Can’t go back to comfort.

Can’t go back to where you were.

Not that I wanted to, but it was kind’ve nice to have the choice ...

Transplanting...